First, I'd put the 6 bolts back into the reversing gear - they just hold the aft seal and the main bearing in place. Leave them for now.
I've never seen a coupling like that. What is the OD?
Most A4 engines end in a flange thats 3.5" OD and about 5/16 thick. The 3 long bolts usually go through the coupling and into the transmission flange.
Can you feel a ring on the fwd face of your coupling? Perhaps that coupling is covering the usual flange.
I think you're going to have to remove those bolts with the 7/8" heads. I'd do this by buying a new 7/8" 6 point socket, then grinding down the nose so the teeth go all the way to the end.
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